Why We Should Read Books About Dark Things.

Sometimes complex emotions like guilt and shame need to be talked about in therapy. But most of the time people are hesitant to explore these feelings with a psychologist because it makes them uncomfortable. Generally these feelings are linked to behaviours they might be ashamed of, or things that they’ve done that aren’t socially sanctioned - like cheating on a partner, lusting after a boss, hiding a drug or gambling habit, stealing money from a workplace, or intentionally acting in hurtful ways to friends. People are scared to admit these things out loud.

Most of the time they’re afraid of judgment or some form of negative reaction from the psychologist. They’re afraid that they will say the thing and then there will be silence. Blank stares. Crickets. For this reason, it often takes people many sessions before they feel ready to actually talk about the really hard stuff. Understandably they’re testing things out, feeling the waters to make sure it’s safe before they jump head-first into the deep end. This is a very normal process. And it can’t really be sped up because it takes time to build trust.

 But sometimes I wish people would read more books before they came to therapy. Because authors are really good at exploring the darker sides of being human. And if you read widely enough you start to see that our deepest and darkest secrets are quite normal parts of human behaviour. Because even fiction stories borrow inspiration from real life.  

And the best part is that in the safety of a book, we can engage with complex emotions and behaviours with separation, allowing us to reflect with less personal buy in.

Stories do not need to mirror our exact reality to be helpful in this process, but their themes do have to be complex enough to make us think beyond our original judgements. This helps us to strengthen the self-reflective muscle – the muscle that is needed most to help ourselves through our darkest places.

So, if you’re up for the challenge, here is a collection of books that explore some real difficult stuff.

-       We Need To Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shriver

-       A Lonely Girl Is A Dangerous Thing, Jessie Tu

-       Three Women, Lisa Taddeo

-       Fleishman Is In Trouble, Taffy Brodesser-Akner

-       Animal, Lisa Taddeo

A word of warning, this list is definitely rated R and not recommended for viewers under the age of 18yrs. Be aware most of these books come with content warnings.

Until next time,

Courtney